My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize