Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
