And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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