Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
