No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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