he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
