Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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