I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
