STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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