I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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