Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
handjob tips. give me some.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
