Where are you?
In a non slutty way
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
