I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
