I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I forget how to act sober
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