I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
