Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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