before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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