it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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