Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
