is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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