im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I didn't notice because vodka
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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