Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
