Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
