his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
