I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
