Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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