i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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