Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
