I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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