OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
