Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
