Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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