goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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