Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize