It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
