So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
