New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You're like the curious george of whores
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
