...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I need to stop coming to work sober
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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