Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he puts the penis in happiness.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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