woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Please don't give away my fajitas
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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