Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
