I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
