How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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