Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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