Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
