some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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