So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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