Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
