he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
