her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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