He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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