So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
