I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
