hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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