Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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