Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
