I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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