I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
