Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
