thus making me awesome and them whores
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
