Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
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I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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