I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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