I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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