Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
