real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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