my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
