i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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