If i come over, it means nothing
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My balls are so social today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
In other news, I just burned my penis
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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