I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
