And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
