So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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