How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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